FITTING BACK IN
I have to confess that my greatest cross-cultural difficulties have not been spending a night in a Gujurati village or getting raging flu on an Indian train trip or dealing with a Parisian metro strike or being unable to communicate with anyone when no one speaks English. My greatest cross-cultural difficulties have been in fitting back in when I return home from an intense trip.
There have been times when it has taken me six months of malaise, not wanting to do much of anything, before I accept fitting back in, more or less. Sometimes it takes just a week or two. All the routine things I am expected to do including work or social life or domestic life have seemed flat after a four month India trip. I am just going through the motions without enthusiasm. I think I look normal enough or at least people don’t pay enough attention to notice that nothing enlivens me.
I know that I am not alone in this letdown and disinterest. I am sure it is common whenever people have been through an intense experience. The death of a loved one and the loss of their presence can leave you unable to be enthusiastic about anything for a long period of time. I have met men whose most intense time in their life was while in combat where every moment of being in danger of dying is intense. They were fully concentrated on just getting through each day. But when they return home and try to fit into the routine of life they can have extreme trouble fitting in and being normal again. Retirement, when people have been fully engaged in their work, can bring the same emptiness as they sit around in the house with visits to the grocery store substituting for the intensity of work.
So this is where I am and probably why I haven’t written for a week. It is normal, I know. And of course the key is to find things that are stimulating and alive. After the death of a loved one you have to fill the huge hole left by their death with things that make you feel fully alive. In my case it has been travel and writing and photographing. You are lucky if you can fill the hole with activities you have always liked doing, as I have, rather than having to learn new stimulating activities.
Really, returning from a trip is just a small reminder of this need to open up to new forms of stimulation. And that is what I am doing here. But it still takes awhile.
BILLYBABA’S WANDERING 