BIG WORDS
This morning I went to the dermatologist, my first visit ever to a dermatologist. I went at the urging of my family to get tested for skin cancer and because my family doctor agreed that the dermatologist might want to treat a spot or two.
My new dermatologist is a young (everyone below 70 seems young to me at 85) lively, fast talking, self assured doctor who must look at countless scaly heads like mine and give the same patter to all of them. I trust him, but on the ride home I began to wonder why I trusted him. This post is not about him, it is about me and my trust in big words.
He explained that the sun had damaged my skin in a number of places over the years causing superficial precancers called actinic keratoses. He found 13 spots that needed to be burned off by liquid nitrogen at -321 degree freezing off the suspected areas and removing them.
The spots he sprayed stung for a while but, now, an hour later I feel nothing. And Medicare covered the costs. This is all so completely normal that there is no reason to report on it to anyone.
But on the way home I began to wonder why I was so trusting and why I believed everything he said. I actually do believe everything he said and did. But why?
Part of it is big words ending in toses. I had all kinds of spots and bumps and discolorations (as you can see from the photograph my scalp looks like a minefield) all with long names that he rattled off. Maybe they didn‘t all end in toses. I can‘t remember any of them. But I realize that I trusted him because he spoke so fast and with such assurance and because he knew so many big words that I didn‘t know. That doesn‘t make him wrong but it doesn‘t make him right either. I had no idea what was erupting on my skull and simply had blind trust in him.
What if he got paid by the number of spots he found that needed spraying? He could just glance around the top of my head and spray obvious spots, and then not obvious spots, or if he wanted to, find no spots at all and spray away as long as he wanted. I don‘t think he did, but what if?
He did mention that he had a Tilley hat in his house, in his car, in his office, everywhere he went because Tilley hats were the best and most protective hats you could buy. And there were Tilley hats for sale in the reception room. Was he providing a service or making a little extra money?
This visit was for the top of my head only. I would have to make a second visit to take off my shirt and see if anything was wrong from the waist up even though it would only take a second. Was he stringing me out or was there a good reason for a second visit? I do have a second visit now scheduled in three months when he is going to examine the spots he sprayed and also rub some goop on my head that will prevent the growth of anything he couldn‘t see.
This seems fine with me, since Medicare will pay then to. And then I bet he will suggest regular checkups to make sure everything stays under control.
It all seems reasonable to me. But then I thought of Barry Madoff and all the people he conned because he knew just what to say and was completely sure of himself and seemed to be completely trustworthy.
That is what a con man does. He knows all the right words, the longer the better, exudes complete confidence, explains things quickly and doesn‘t have a time for questions. I just read a story of a man who has been organizing financial opportunities for the very, very rich and famous to get even richer through his advice and contacts. These are the richest people in the world and it turned out that after hosting a number of sessions with the rich and famous he was none of the things that he said he was. He was a complete con man.
I am not saying my dermatologist is a con man. I‘m glad he burned off the precancerous growth and is going to protect me from skin cancer. I am only saying that use a few big words, exude complete confidence, spray as often as you want and I could be completely conned. I am the problem.
And I think about the big words that academics use to describe experiential learning which is a wordless feeling along process. I realize that the big words are enough to have me trust them, or to even trust myself when I borrow them from John Duley and use them. Was I being a con man when I did this? Did I really know what I was talking about? I have a feeling that long words are one of the things my MAGA barber not only doesn‘t trust but resents. I try to use short words when I am in the barber shop so as not to give myself away as a condescending liberal, but I know it doesn‘t work. He sees right through me and doesn‘t say a word as he looks down on my hairless pink and yellow blotched scalp. But I can sense what he is thinking and don‘t say a word either.
BILLYBABA’S WANDERING 